Professional women often need to travel for work. Even though companies use technology to communicate with groups in different parts of the world these days, sometimes there is no substitute for face-to-face meetings. It can be difficult and tiring to juggle motherhood and a career, but it can be done. Here are the top tips that can help professional moms traveling for work survive the journey.
Tip No. 1 – First, deal with your guilt about leaving your kids overnight for work trips.
If you are racked with guilt about “abandoning” your children for a work trip, it will be difficult to focus on the job you want to accomplish. Your heart and mind will be divided, and you might miss an important opportunity if you’re distracted by thinking about your kids and feeling guilty about your absence from them. Inattention during an important meeting can be a signal of disinterest to clients and colleagues and make them doubt your abilities. How do you free yourself of the bonds of unhealthy guilt? By learning the difference between healthy and unhealthy guilt.
- Healthy Guilt. As children mature, they learn to feel guilt when they’ve said something that hurts or offends another person. As women mature, guilt teaches us whether our behavior is appropriate or inappropriate in a variety of settings. Feeling guilty about working 80-plus hours a week and ignoring our family is healthy. In this example, guilt can be justified and help change our behavior to save relationships or guard our health.
- Unhealthy Guilt. If a woman constantly worries about every word she speaks and second guesses every decision she makes, her guilt can paralyze her from acting and interfere with healthy relationships at home and at work. For instance, a mom may feel overwhelmed by guilt that she will damage her child’s psychological and emotional development if she returns to work after maternity leave. If she dwells on her guilt, it might trigger anxiety and depression that can affect all aspects of her life. Other people in her life might try to make her feel guilty. But setting healthy boundaries and striving for balance in life do not make a woman “mean.” The truth is, most children grow up to be happy, healthy adults, even when both parents work.
- Self-Talk. Talking to yourself can be healthy. Self-talk is the practice of talking to yourself either out loud or silently. Women who constantly tell themselves they aren’t good enough or talented enough to be a mother and pursue a career at the same time have lower self- esteem and anxiety than a woman who speaks positive thoughts to herself. Negative thoughts create a downward spiral that inhibits a woman from succeeding in her home and work life. Make it a habit to encourage yourself throughout the day.
- Counseling.How can counseling help rid a woman of unhealthy guilt? If self-talk doesn’t work, talking with a trusted friend or speaking with a counselor can help a woman sort through her feelings of guilt. Sometimes it takes a deep dive into a woman’s life to discover the root of her guilt.
- Admit you’re not perfect. A healthy life requires balance, and the most helpful anecdote to guilt is admitting you’re not perfect. I know this may come as a shock to some women, but no one is perfect. Drop the burden you were never meant to carry. Perfectionism isn’t healthy. Yes, we all want to do our best, but if we fall short, we need to admit we’re human.
Tip No. 2 – If possible, schedule your trips in advance so you can be home for birthdays, holidays, recitals, or significant school or sports events.
A busy career mom can easily forget special school events, children’s recitals, sports events, or even a school vacation unless she plans ahead. Here are some ways you can design your travel schedule around your children’s lives:
- Update Your Calendar. Most career women use Outlook or the calendar on their phones to keep track of work appointments, meetings, and travel. Here’s a tip… add all your children’s birthdays, vacations, recitals, or other important events to your work calendar. Then, if possible, suggest an alternate travel date to meet with clients or colleagues, or take a later flight so you can be present at your child’s special event.
- Celebrate Early. Celebrate a child’s birthday early if your boss is adamant about you attending a conference with a date set in concrete. Make it a special day for your child.
- Schedule Your Vacations. Try to schedule your vacations to coincide with your children’s school breaks or take your children with you on your trip for a mini-vacation, especially in the summer. Ask your spouse, partner, or caregiver to come along to take care of them while you’re busy.
Tip No. 3 – Write your travel dates on a colorful calendar to prepare your kids for your absence and post on the refrigerator.
Here’s a chance to use your creativity! Most busy moms already add their kids’ activities to a calendar posted on the refrigerator or in a special place. If you don’t have one, here’s a chance to create one. It will make your life so much easier.
- Love Notes. Mark the days you’ll be traveling in a bright ink and write a little love note on each day. Use fun magnets to add iconic pictures of the city where you’ll be staying. These are easy to find on the Internet.
- Return Dates. Go all out on the date when you’ll return.For instance, draw a heart around that day, or use a special sticker. Make sure to tell your kids the time you’ll be home. If you’re delayed in an airport, FaceTime or Skype your children and tell them you can’t wait to see them.
Tip No. 4 – While you’re gone, chat with your kids daily using FaceTime or Skype. Ask them open-ended questions about their day.
A telephone call is okay, but your kids would rather see your face when you connect with them. The call doesn’t need to be lengthy, especially at night. They miss you and want to know they’re loved and an important part of your life. Kids feel abandoned if they don’t hear from you while you’re gone.
- Open-ended Questions. A question like “How was your day?” will only elicit a one-word answer. A better question to get them talking is, “What made you laugh today?” Or “What made you mad, or feel embarrassed, or (fill in the blank)?” “What three things are you grateful for today?”
- You don’t need to describe a boring business meeting, but you can describe something unusual you saw, even if you never left the hotel. Notice other people and describe them or tell them the best thing that happened to you that day.
- If your children are accustomed to you reading a picture book to them at night, there’s no reason you can’t do that from far away.
Tip No. 5 –Even if you’re exhausted, spend 15 minutes loving on your kids as soon as you walk in the door.
- Drop Your Suitcase. Your kids are more important than putting your computer bag in your office or wheeling your suitcase to the bedroom. Drop everything at the front door and deal with it later. Your kids missed you. Lett hem know you missed them too.
- Lose the Lavish Gifts. Don’t try to assuage your guilt by giving your children expensive gifts every time you travel for business. Instead, pick up a few postcards or a T-shirt and don’t forget to take pictures while you’re gone so you can share them when you get home.
- Listen. If your kids want to tell you something, let them, no matter how rambling it is. Take an interest in how they feel, even if they’re sad about you leaving them. Validate their feelings and reassure your children that you love them.