Tips on How to Say “No”

In a previous post, we discussed that setting priorities often requires saying “no” to tasks, activities and other requests that do not align with our goals or values. Saying “no”, however, usually does not come easy. Here are some suggestions to help you say “no.”

How to Say No.

• Always be respectful. Consider thanking the person for the invitation or opportunity they are presenting you.
• Offer an option. Is there another task or activity you can propose as an alternative that requires less time? Can you skip your friend’s party, but offer to meet for coffee at another time?
• Offer a substitute. Can you recommend someone else? Do you have another relative that would love to go to the movies with the cousin who is inviting you?
• Plan your response. If possible, give yourself the opportunity to think about the way in which you want to decline an invitation before responding. Think about how you would respond to pressure or pushback from the other person.
• Explain, but be brief. Although an explanation for declining an invitation may be appropriate, or even necessary if you are dealing with a client or co-worker, try to avoid extensive explanations that can give the other party the opportunity to argue against your decision.
• Choose the best medium. If you anticipate an uncomfortable conversation or a negative reaction, consider whether it would be better to send an email or have a phone call with the person instead of a face-to-face encounter.

Be more cautious when dealing with a boss or client, and prudence should guide your conversation. In such cases, also consider the following:

How to Say No at Work.

• General Rule. It is generally not a good idea to say “no” to a superior who asks you to perform tasks related to your job that would be executed within your work schedule. If, however, you have a work overload, are asked to perform work for which you are not qualified, or have another legitimate impediment to working on the tasks or projects your boss intends to assign to you, it is reasonable to discuss these matters with them to work out a mutually beneficial arrangement.
• Dealing with overload. If you have a full workload and your boss intends to assign you a new task or project, you should express your willingness to help, but let them know that the new project or task could interfere with your current workload. Your boss might not be aware of all you have on your plate. A discussion on the matter could allow them to help you prioritize your tasks or might even convince them to assign the new work to someone else.
• Propose a new timeline. You could discuss with your boss whether a different deadline or timeline for the completion of the new project is an option. Maybe there is some flexibility in the timeline initially presented.
• Delegation. Ask your boss whether you can enlist the help of a co-worker or team to whom you could delegate part of the new work. Your boss may want you to be involved in a project because of your particular experience or expertise, but may not necessarily need you to personally perform all of the tasks involved.  Having you oversee a task or project could be an acceptable option.
• Reassignment of work. Discuss with your boss whether they can assign some of the current projects or tasks you are working on to other persons so that you have availability to work on the new project.
• When you feel unqualified. If you intend to decline a new project because you do not believe you are qualified, consider discussing with your boss the qualifications needed for the project, the reasons for asking you to work on the project and, if appropriate, whether other members of the team would be better suited for that opportunity.

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